heaven in my hands

I have you to hold

In my dreams

Yet it was you who told me

Never to dream

I have you to fall back on

But it was you who let me fall

Heaven was in my hands

Till you let them bleed

Out of arrogance and misdeed

We agreed not to keep

Quilted in serenity

Frozen in infinity

Heaven is always a place

Up there where we shall meet

copyrights reserved :)

Selamat Hari Raya Aidil Fitri 1431H

SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDIL FITRI

sama bersalam-salaman

sama bermaaf-maafan

yang jauh dikenang

yang dekat berkunjungan

hari raya penuh kesyukuran.

syawal yang datang

mengganti ramadan yang pergi

bulan rahmat silih berganti

hari raya menjelang tiba

selamat meraikannya.

No Air

Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air

If I should die before I wake

It's 'cause you took my breath away

Losing you is like living in a world with no air

Oh I'm here alone, didn't wanna leave

My heart won't move, it's incomplete

Wish there was a way that I can make you understand

But how do you expect me

to live alone with just me

'Cause my world revolves around you

It's so hard for me to breathe

[Chorus:]

Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air

Can't live, can't breathe with no air

It's how I feel whenever you ain't there

It's no air, no air

Got me out here in the water so deep

Tell me how you gonna be without me

If you ain't here,

I just can't breathe

It's no air, no air

No air, air

No air, air

No air, air

No air, air

I walked, I ran, I jumped, I flew

Right off the ground to float to you

There's no gravity to hold me down for real

But somehow I'm still alive inside

You took my breath, but I survived

I don't know how, but I don't even care

So how do you expect meto live alone with just me

'Cause my world revolves around you

It's so hard for me to breathe

[Chorus]

No air, air

No air, air

No air, air

No air, air

No more

It's no air, no air

[Chorus x2]

p.s. understandably this is rather gloomy. a nice song that im playing on repeat mode.

hopefully, the cloud will clear and the sun will shine soon.

logic has dictated the path to be taken, but heart refused to let it end.. not yet.

closure is needed.

answers instead of questions.

understanding instead of anger.

words rather than action.

tolerance rather than confrontation.

Lailatul Qadar - A Quest For Jannah

we are now in the last leg of ramadan.

the 10 nights that hold more rewards than the rest of our ibadah put together for a thousand years.

this is a quest for a place in the heavens.

a place fit for the prophets, the syuhada' and the most pious among all mankind.

may we be one of those who are fortunate enough to be chosen amongst them, insyaAllah.

this is the time where heavens go on SALE!

there are plenty of vacancies and choices for everybody and anybody;

regardless of age, race, wealth, gender and looks.

our chance to own a 5star accommodation without having to show a platinum visa or mastercard.

lets book a place in the hereafter and shop wisely.

all deeds whether good or bad will be judged accordingly in the day of judgement.

now is the time to rope in the BONUS!

find the night of lailatulqadar and empty your soul to Allah.

each night is special. therefore noone knows when it falls. so it is best to keep vigil and do plenty of solah and ibadah every night until the dawn of syawal enters the horizon.

Ya Allah, temukan aku dengan lailatulqadar pada ramadan tahun ini.

Panjangkanlah umurku untuk bertemu dengan lailatulqadar tahun hadapan.

Jika ditakdirkan aku mati sebelumnya, matikanlah aku dalam iman dan islam.

Sesungguhnya Engkau lah yang maha mengetahui.

a funny thing happened this morning.

it looked set to be a sunny day when suddenly the sound of thunder broke the tranquilty.

within minutes it poured buckets

but the sky was slow to respond to this sudden change of weather.

so we had hujan panas.

everything is cleared now Alhamdulillah.

the sun is out again.

almost asar now.

have a great iftar.

daun selasih daun kayu

terima kasih thank you.

la tahzan

la tahzan.

dont be sad.

tok sah sedih.

i found a saying that goes something like this,

"dont worry about the people who walked out on you in your past,

they are not meant to be in your future anyway."

of course i know there is no reason for me to be sad. people who love you are the ones who wont hurt you for no reason. if they have ceased loving you and found a new object of fascination, then so be it. just dont turn it into a big battle of ego.

obviously, when they do, they seem very ugly. it is very simple.

hence they are not worth the tears or the heartache or the malancholic gaze that you threw into the horizon. accepting the fact that people despise you or in a lesser word 'dislike' is the same as knowing that not everybody likes you for being you, is fine. and it is also logical. you cannot please everyone.

you love unconditionally and you can get burned. that is the risk the everyone takes in the quest of finding a place in someone's heart. you cannot tell the heart to delete unwanted memories, to omit the pains of being scorned and ridiculed, to neutralise the venom of love.

No that is impossible.

but time will heal the pain and soften the memories, insyaAllah.

and in time, you will learn that it is okay to be sad, just dont be depressed. manic depression is uncalled for and totally unnecessary.

nobody is worth that much compared to yourself and your loved ones.

but be sure that you dont leave any doors unchecked.

if you feel you need answers, seek and you might get it.

if you feel you need closure, ask and you might get it.

if you feel you should apologize, then seek for forgiveness and you might get it.

if you feel you are okay without all that.. then the chapter is already closed.

dont go looking back into the wound for fear that it would bleed fresh blood.

Allah is always behind you 100%.

if you take one step closer to HIM, HE will take 100 steps closer to you.

no love is greater and more rewarding than the love for Allah and his prophet Muhammad s.a.w.

arrogance doesnt pay much, but piety to the Almighty does.

in this holy month of ramadan where Allah's love is in abundance, let me remind myself once again.

la tahzan!

p.s. dont be fooled by this writing. this is not a person in pain.

this is just an outlet of my creative emotions. ahahaa.

a picture can paint a thousand words.

what do you feel when you see the picture above?

honestly, i dont mind being hated, but kindly do it behind my back plz.

well.. umm.. obviously i still have some unresolved issues .. ahakzz.

since i know nobody reads this, im safe to write anything i want .. so long as i have access to enter.. ahaha.

anyways, the fun is that i can talk about it now and knowing that Allah is merciful, really helps.

ok, have a healthy life! Amin. :-)

last nite was nuzul Al Quran. and it was beautiful. peaceful, serene night wipes away any feeling of emptiness when you fill it with Allah's love. and that is enough, for now. Amin.

simple things can be beautiful

Look at this. im drawn to it. i love it at first sight. this is beautiful photography.

yes of coz there are other pretty pictures out there. undeniably, scenic breathtaking pictures are my favourites.

but then those places are lovely even from outside the lens of an expensive camera. that is natural beauty.. Allah's creation. SubhanAllah.

this is a match.

when do you seriously pay attention when you light up a match. when were you hypnotized by it till it burnt your fingers. beauty like this doesnt last long and it is almost impossible to capture the moment from a naked eye. that is the tricky part. impossible but by no means absurd.

technology makes it possible. no doubt this is one expensive shot.

analogy of beauty has long been discussed. men are drawn to beauty. physical beauty is highly rated and sought after. who doesnt want pretty, young, gentle and bouncy ladies. that is reality. tough ones are few and far between.

A single match that light up the fire is not pretty to the naked eye. hence, no attention are paid to it. if you look long enough you will get burnt. and who wants the pain. no, the matchstick is not worth it. very plain, very simple and the smoke gets in your eyes.

if you are a man, beauty is only skin deep. but beauty is what you seek and you will get it.

if you are a woman, beauty is poison. too much you will want more. too little you will kill for more.

so what relevence does this posting have in this holy month of Ramadan?

it is to remind myself that the concept of 'redha' applies deep within ourselves.

Allah is just and Allah is merciful.

everything is created not equal so variety exists and in that we learn about tolerance. above tolerance, lies the concept of 'syukur' - being content and satisfied with that we already have. On top of that, is 'taqwa'.

beauty, exuberance of youth, intelligence, wealth and seduction can come in a complete package. i dont have all that in abundance.

i have only myself.

redha, syukur and taqwa!

even simple things can be beautiful. SubhanAllah.

Selamat Berbuka Puasa.

as i wonder..

i saw your face again tonight.. as i did this morning.. as i did yesterday..

i wish i can make u go away... or make u stay!

useless to wonder this way.. i know for a fact there aint a way..

too much happened yesterday.. and years before u crossed my way

silently i accept the distance.. i understand perseverence

i applaud your ignorance.. i search for divine solutions

a tiny corner is reserved however.. just a safe haven to revert to at leisure

honestly i felt u did care.. but it wasnt enough to hold you there

and so im letting u go.. i promise i wont follow

live the life u know.. i will live mine with wonderful tomorrows!